Okay,
ventorus01, guess what. This is addressed specifically to you and I don't give a flying fuck as to who sees it at this point. Everytime I ask you politely, you give me a bullshit excuse and re-add me. I'm tired of this.
Ever since I friended you OVER TWO YEARS AGO, you've defriended me REPEATEDLY based on the bullshit notion that I sell you out to the trolls that won't let you be. You've blatantly accused me of screencapping your entries and distributing them publicly. You've suspected me of being behind the sock puppet accounts that were plaguing your friends list.
GUESS WHAT.
It fucking wasn't me, okay? Never was. Never will be. I've never EVER given you a reason to think such things about me. The entire time I've tried being your friend, I've only ever been supportive of you and given you advice, which you almost always ignored and/or given me some excuse as to why it wouldn't work. I was honest on what I thought of your singing/screaming voice samples. I gave you my opinion everytime you got a haircut. Everytime you had an issue and I noticed, I told you that if you ever needed ANYTHING, you could come to me directly if you wanted. I explained repeatedly that if I didn't comment on specific entries, it's because I probably didn't see it because I don't log in every single fucking day of my life. I have SHIT going on right now. I'm dealing with CHILDREN ALL DAY EVERY DAY. I explained to you that I'm pretty much on hiatus and that if you REALLY needed to talk to me, you could send me an offline message on Yahoo messenger or send me a goddamn email.
And recently, the only entries I've seen from you have been riddle with "not like anyone cares". BULLSHIT. All. Pure. Bull. Shit. I've seen people offer you advice and tell you that they're there for you, myself included. Just because I'm not constantly on the internet doesn't mean I don't care about you and that I'm not your friend.
Obviously, you can't understand that. I've tried explaining that to you repeatedly. It never gets through. If it did, you wouldn't have deleted me from your friends without notice. Again.
So. This is it. I'm done. I still care about you and wish I could keep trying to be the friend I know you deserve. But I'm done. There's only so much bullshit in my life that I can keep up with. I can't waste my time on someone who can't tell when someone genuinely cares, even if it's over the internet.
Now let me tell you. I'm in a three bedroom house with six other people. Only three of the said people are people I enjoy the company of. I spend my days chasing after two children that aren't mine. I get up at six every single morning that
vandigo stays in bed to be there when a five-year-old boy gets up and wants breakfast. I stay up and get his four-year-old sister breakfast when she gets up. I then sit down and watch movies and play with them until around 10:30am when I have to wake
vandigo up so she's completely awake when she has to take Tristan to school at 12:45. Then, I get to sit with a little girl until she gets back and listen to her tell stories and whine about how mean I am because, god forbid, I don't give her a cookie.
I'm fucking sorry if I don't have time to sit here and wait for you to post another entry so I can comment on it. I have responsibilities right now. I have to cook for two picky snot-nosed brats. I have to clean the house so it looks halfway decent when
vandigo's parents get home. I have to make sure
vandigo and I have something to eat every now and then. I have to wash
vandigo's clothes as well as my own and put them away. If you can call putting your clothes in a box "putting them away".
Oh and
vandigo's sister? She doesn't pay us for anything. We watch her children all day every day for free. And she still treats everyone in the household (minus her children) like dirt. I struggled for weeks to get the basement cleaned up so Vandy and I could move downstairs. And guess what. Thanks to her sister . . . I never have TIME to go down there and clean it or organize it. Since I'm upstairs all day babysitting, I can't clean the area I have to SLEEP in.
So,
ventorus01 . . . I'm fucking SORRY I don't have time to give you every second I have. Just because I'm not on the internet constantly doesn't mean I care about you any less than I did before. But obviously, your standards on friendship are different than mine.
Goodbye.
AND TO THE REST OF YOU: I'm sorry for the rant. But I haven't been sleeping well. And I'm almost at the end of my rope, here. I value friendship and just because I don't always comment . . . it doesn't mean I don't care about you guys, okay? I'm trying harder, but there's other shit I have to do as well.
THE POSITIVE PART OF THE POST:
vandigo found a job and starts on the first of next month. We're hoping this means we can move out in a few months.